25 August 2009
THE APPENDIX MAKES A COMEBACK!
In a report written for the Aug 12th "Journal of Evolutionary Biology", (a publication that is, incidentally, found on the favorite list of Jerry Falwell's home computer) scientists have discovered that every body's favorite whipping organ, the appendix, is in fact, a viable and important contributor to the carbon framework that we spend a lifetime hellbent on destroying.
Maybe I'm being a little too optimistic, but, if THE APPENDIX can make a successful comeback after centuries of Darwinian abuse and disdain, maybe....just maybe...
We'll see kids delivering newspapers to every home in America from their bicycles?
The Slinky will be a Christmas stocking stuffer, and not the latest Paris Hilton clothing ensemble?
"Home Cooked Dinner" will be the real thing and no longer an advertising lead for nouveau-chic takeout joints?
"Professional Dog Walkers" will take their rightful place in the trash heap of American service industries?
Higher Education will be resurrected with a more traditional definition within our Public School Systems?
Television newscasts will merely report the news? In monotone? (Indeed, black and white might not be a bad idea, either.)
Barbara Billingsley, Ronnie Howard, Henry Winkler, Bill Cosby, Jay North and Barbara Eden will unite to produce and perform in a prime time sit-com entitled....."We Knew Best"?
Okay, FINE, Minnesota readers, you betcha, since we're talking about comebacks, I'll state the obvious,
Brett Favre will lead the Vikings to the Super Bowl?
(But wouldn't it be more appropriate for Bud "My Super Bowl Teams Needed A Stimulus" Grant to do it?)
And finally, the Chicago Cubs will win the ........eh, never mind......what am I thinking?
Miracles only occur during Grace Slick/Marty Balin hallucinatory collaborations.