20 February 2010


In 1972, Yankee left handed pitchers (lefties have always been a peculiar breed of ballplayer), Mike Kekich and Fritz Peterson rocked the baseball world, not to mention the prim and proper monuments of Yankee Stadium, by announcing an off-season trade that involved........

They swapped wives. And families. And houses. And dogs. (DOGS!!! where the hell was PETA!?!?)
Much was made of that transaction back in 1972, but to the credit of Kekich and Peterson, the story, like all trashy stories, soon fell off of the media's radar (Pay attention Tiger). And to their further credit, Mike and Fritz went on to relatively successful lives outside of baseball after their pitching careers crashed in flames not long after the trade (quelle shock...too many distractions, perhaps?).

But very soon..... that infamous transaction is gonna be smack dab in the crosshairs of public scrutiny again.

Cuz notorious and boorishly outspoken Yankee hater Ben Affleck owns the rights to the story and has just announced that he is going to make a movie about it.
Oh B-O-Y.....I can't wait.
Ben Affleck, along with fellow BloSox fan Matt Damon, is doing a movie about the Yankees.
That's kinda like James Carville producing a GOP campaign video featuring Rosie O'Donnell and Susan Sarandon endorsing Dick Cheney.

And it's not simply a basic "baseball movie", say one that encompasses all of the feel good aspects of Field of Dreams or A League of Their Own, or one that tells a reasonably acceptable history story like Eight Me Out.
Nope.....Affleck will be doing a Yankee movie centered around pinstriped scandal, sex, and adultery.

No doubt this endeavor will be one of those rare moments of celluloid greatness and another shining manifestation of cinematic integrity.

Perhaps Michael Moore will simultaneously throw together a film about George Bush's college days and Affleck and Moore can package it in theaters as a doubleheader....call it the Birds of A Feather Tour.

Anyhow, I digress....the real reason for this blog entry, was so I could suggest some tacky, pithy Movie Titles for Mr. Affleck to consider for this pithy, tacky film venture...

And here they are:

"A League of Their Groan"

"Trading Laces"

"Two Balls, Two Strikes, Two On, Two Out".

"Now Coming Out Of The Bullpen...."

"Ground Rule Doubles".

"Relief Pitchers"

"...She Calls For Another Lefty!!"

"Second Round Draft Picks"

"One Means Fastball, Two Means Changeup"

Knock your socks (red) off Mr. Affleck....have a blast making this movie. With any luck, it will turn a better dime than the rest of the box office disasters you've produced in your career.
And even if it doesn't, at least you can gain some self satisfaction in wasting a lot of other people's money as part of a lifelong quest in overcoming your debilitating second place complex.
(Damn shame he never worked out a trade for JLo, and that she just moved on to bigger and better things, without Ben getting so much as an undisclosed amount of cash in return).


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