CELL PHONES MAY FRY YOUR BRAIN....LITERALLY

In a report newseminated today by leading blogger Bob Mantz (click on his link to the right), it has been been reported for about the millionth time, that cell phones increase the risk of brain cancer and brain tumors.
Here's the link..
http://www.businesswire.com/portal/site/google/?ndmViewId=news_view&newsId=20090825005712&newsLang=en


In related news....
The Ted Kennedy Estate has released the recent brain cancer victim's Fav Five and mentioned that personal injury lawsuits are being considered. The Fav Five include... Michael Jackson, Elvis, Heidi Fleiss, Chris Matthews and Vineyard Liquors and Spirits.

Celebrities worldwide are reexamining their cell phone plans as well as their most frequent callers in an effort to cut down on usage.

However,
Keith "Hair" Olberman says he has no plans to eliminate Joseph Goebbels IV from his contact list.

Sean Hannity pooh-poohed the report and says he will continue, indeed increase his daily chats over his direct spirit line to former Senator Joseph McCarthy.

George W. Bush says he cannot find his cell phone, and asks if anyone finds it to please texture him a message with it's location.

President Barack Obama has asked America not to overreact to this news, as all brain cancer cases will be cured under article 4666, section 302, paragraph 705, lines 5335 through 8666 of his new Health Plan.

Sarah Palin announced that she just eliminated all 212 numbers from her Fav Five, including Bonwit Teller, Bloomingdales, Saks, Macy's and Fortunoffs.

John McCain says there is no need to eliminate any 907 area code numbers from his list, as he hasn't had any for months.

New York Met's Manager Jerry Manuel says he can't wait to eliminate the number to his bullpen.

The family of John Gunther, author of the novel Death Be Not Proud, has announced plans for a re-write and re-release of the acclaimed novel after signing on Verizon as a sponsor to the project.

Military Commanders in Afghanistan have announced plans to air drop 1 million fully charged cell phones over the mountains of Pakistan.

And yours truly has added the Pope's Confessional 900 Hotline to the top of his Fav Five after publishing this entry, fully realizing that it may already be too late to serve any purpose.