NEXT STOP? BROADWAY AND 168TH ST (CHANGE FOR THE LOCAL)

Two months ago I offered an alternative to the latest travel industry bandwagon product that featured a walking tour of Obama's Honolulu.

Right Here...http://islander505.blogspot.com/2009/09/vote-for-505-in-twenty-twelve.html

Now, another "Obama Walking Tour" has reared it's head in another one of my old stomping grounds, New York City.

Right Here.... http://www.dailyherald.com/story/?id=338625&src=330

For $25.00 ($15.00 for children 12 and under) a tourist is offered "A two-hour walking tour including stops at Columbia University, a Harlem subway station, and the street where the man who now sleeps in the White House once slept in an alley for a night". And I got a real kick out of this... "...Miller ends the tour by hopping on the No. 1 train"...

That's it? This is where "Barry the boy, became Barack the man?"

Pshaw.

THE 505 WALKING TOUR OF NYC

A 12 hour tour (or longer), where "516 the boy, became 212... an older boy".

$15.00...no children under the age of reason allowed.

This extensive tour of the Bronx and Manhattan features a panorama of what life was like in NYC between 1973 through 1977 when a young 505 matriculated at Manhattan College (and worked his way through school thanks to some "non-government sponsored bullshit jobs").

The tour begins once a week at 242nd St and Broadway (the terminus of the #1 Subway Train) on the campus of Manhattan College. We'll initially follow the route that 505 and his future roommate/lifelong buddy took on their first day of college. A short stroll from the main campus to nearby Van Cortlandt Park. While the rest of the freshman class was attending welcome seminars and speeches, 505 and his friend spent the day golfing in the Park. (paid for 9 holes, played 18). "So this is college".

Following a bucket of balls at the range, we'll head back to 242nd Street and Broadway for a kickoff cocktail at each of the bars that sat underneath the elevated subway platform. Special "beer and schnappes" prices have been negotiated with The Green Leaf, The Pinewood and The Terminal Bar (or whatever their names are now). As my new roommate had declared so often, "My final selection of a college to attend was based upon how many bars were within walking distance."

505 didn't realize it then, but that statement was all I needed to know about both Sociology and Logic 101.

Climb the stairs and board a specially restored "70's #1 Train", completely graffitied both inside and out, littered with Daily News front pages showcasing headlines from the era such as "FORD TO CITY-DROP DEAD!!" and "SON OF SAM STRIKES AGAIN!!", as well as strategically located pools of human urine on the floor of the subway cars. In train entertainment will be provided by 4 foot long Ghetto Blasters featuring the tuneage of Eddie Kendricks and ABBA.

Sit back and enjoy the hour long ride, as we are headed all the way downtown. Gaze out the spray can tinted windows of the subway car as we cross high above the Harlem River (I KNOW Barack could've walked on that water in the 70's) and view the broken glass infields where Manny Ramirez played during his youth. Enjoy the people watching deep underground at the 168th St. station, where we could now change and catch an express downtown. But in the 70's no white kid would leave the comfort of this local train and run a gauntlet through what was then a multilayered platform of economic and racially charged hatred in order to save a few minutes.

Laugh out loud at the 42nd St station as your host recounts a Mad March evening in 1977 when a full #1 Train (8 cars--about 500-700 mostly males) of Manhattan College students jumped off one stop early and streaked the last 9 blocks down 7th Avenue to 33rd street and Madison Square Garden. Where the Jaspers and archrival Fordham Rams (rams eat shit) were renewing their basketball rivalry. (505 stole the Ram mascot's head that night, but was captured with it by Garden security before reaching the safety of the student body, at least they let me stay and watch the game!! cuz 505 learned early in life that it's "who" you know...one of the security guards recognized me as a vendor who worked there).

Disembarking at the Chambers Street Station, we'll tour the City Hall area-- taking note of the towering dormitory of Pace College...it casts a long shadow over City Hall. 505 spent many a night shadow dancing in that dorm with an old girlfriend after spending too many dollars in a nearby Blarney Stone Pub. We'll have lunch in Chinatown at Wo Hop, while carefully stepping over indigents sleeping in the stairwell area (Barry? is that you? you're in the wrong part of town!). Be careful not to slip down the stairs as we enter this basement hovel. Dining in Chinatown in the 70's was a true life lesson...It demonstrated that washing one's hands before a meal is greatly overrated.

Following lunch we'll reboard our #1 Train and head back up to 34th Street. We'll hang out for awhile by the employee entrance at Madison Sq. Garden, where 505 spent many an evening hoping to be selected to sell beer or soda or ice cream for an event at the Garden. Keep an eye out for modern day Walt Fraziers and Dave Debusscheres (who often sat and chatted with us vendors in the stands pre-game while enjoying his ritual 2 cups of coffee) and Circus Clowns (not to be confused with the hockey team that put on their act there as well).

A short walk up to 42nd St and 5th Avenue ensues. Now thirty years later, you can still score a Rolex for $10.00 on the way, proving ONCE AGAIN that small business is the pulse and the timing belt for the economic engine of America.

We'll tour Bryant Park behind the NYC Public Library, current home to Project Runway's Fashion Week. In the 70's it was always fashionable to score a "loose joint" in what was then a Midtown Turkish Bizarre World. Scratch around in the dirt, like the pigeons do, and perhaps you will find some of the residue of the 70's that helps NYC pigeons soar higher than their counterparts in other locales. And perhaps why Michael Kors always wears sunglasses while watching the models during the final show.

Window shopping along 5th Avenue is in order, as 505 recalls his summer of '73 as a 16 year old messenger for Kentnor Corporation, an umbrella corporation for trendy 5th Avenue shops, and all of the beautiful women he encountered while delivering the mail and 40K trinkets for stores like Cartier, Valentino's and Georj Jensen. YOWSER. Quite an experience for a hormonal young boy who had just spent 4 years as a student in an all male High School. Unfortunately, cougars were on the endangered list in the nouveau chic, environment conscious period of the 70's....sigh.

After dinner and rousing Irish Music in Connolly's in Midtown (it wasn't around in the 70's, but hey..ya' know?), we'll reboard our specially outfitted #1 train at 42nd St and do what any subway derelict does on a ride to the end of the line... pass out snoring.

Back at 242nd St and the end of the tour. Special rates will be available for those needing a bed for the night in Manhattan College's Overlook Dormitory. (A supplemental showcase tour in itself). Complimentary bacon and egg breakfast sandwiches (on poppy seed rolls...like you have to worry about a pee test at this point?) included the following morning from a local deli.

Now. I ask everyone....what's up with these BORING Obama City Tours?

Too bad Barack never ran his game in Alaska...

Perhaps Sarah and I can put together a Spenard Edition.

LINCOLN LETTER GENERATES OUTRAGE!!

A recently discovered letter written by Abraham Lincoln (which generated 3.4 million dollars at an auction) to a group of 195 children has generated a firestorm of angst and protest from the Nation's Media and Pundits.

In the letter, Mr. Lincoln, a Republican from a small town in the last frontier state of Illinois, responded to the school children's request to "free all the slave children in the country".

Mr. Lincoln replied:

""Please tell these little people I am very glad their young hearts are so full of just and generous sympathy, and that while I have not the power to grant all they ask, I trust that they will remember that God has, and that, as it seems, He wills to do it."

Reaction to Mr. Lincoln's response, in particular his reference to "God's Will" was immediate and furious.

MSNBC's Chris Matthews..."How does Lincoln know what God wants? Does he talk to him?".

Keith Olbermann called Lincoln a "clear and present danger to the nation", and continued "we don't need another Elmer Gantry, I think God has better things to do".

Rachel Maddow followed up the smirking by saying "If Lincoln believes that God will free the slaves, American voters will react with WTF!!, and besides if God was really working on this issue, wouldn't he be better at it than Mr. Lincoln? I'm pretty sure that you cannot pray away slavery".

Sally Quinn of the Washington Post commented..."How did God work in Lincoln's life?", and suggested Lincoln shouldn’t complain about what God did to him through say, John Wilkes Boothe.

In an editorial, the New York Times suggested that Lincoln would be better off prostrating himself at the feet of the Monarchs of England and France, and seeking their guidance on the slavery issue, rather than beseeching a god that probably doesn't exist.

David Letterman generated his own firestorm of anger by suggesting in his monologue that Colonel Abner Doubleday of the Union Army was told by God to have sex with Mrs. Lincoln.

SNL writers immediately put together a skit featuring John Belushi, Chris Farley, Gilda Radner and Phil Hartman entertaining God while Mr. Lincoln's text messages were ignored by the enraptured deity.

Finally, Bill O'Reilly of Fox News admonished Mr. Lincoln for his veiled agnosticism and warned him to pick a Church and balanced (fairly) that admonishment by offering Mr. Lincoln a complimentary "St. Peter Welcomes You" doormat if he joined the Catholic Church.

Sean Hannity let Mr. Lincoln know that he once played God in a school play and is still capable of being Him, and Glen Beck wrote the entire Baltimore Catechism (from memory) on a chalkboard for the benefit of Mr. Lincoln and invited him to use the direct phone line in his studio to call God.

No reaction from Mr. Lincoln, who was last seen climbing a mountain on the back of a Lama in Nepal, as witnessed by Sarah Palin from her bedroom window, who was modeling the latest in running attire while simultaneously carving the eyes out of a burglar carrying Newsweek credentials.

QUOTES FROM A "RIGHT WING RADICAL"

"I place economy among the first and most important virtues, and public debt as the greatest of dangers. To preserve our independence, we must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt."

"The principle of spending money to be paid by future generations, under the name of funding, is but swindling futurity on a large scale."

"I hope [that] we shall crush in its birth the aristocracy of our monied corporations which dare already to challenge our government to a trial by strength and [to] bid defiance to the laws of our country."

"I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.”

“I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies.”

"A wise and frugal government, which shall leave men free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor any bread it has earned- this is the sum of good government."

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not."

PROJECT WRONGWAY

A PICTORIAL OF AMERICAN MUGSHOTS

HAUTE COUTURE 2009.

THE AUDACITY OF (CAN'T SAY) NOPE

FRIDAY THE 13TH STRIKES!!!

OBAMA....YOU'RE KILLING ME

These pricks are gonna be tried with the same rights as a U.S. Citizen? In New York?

Is Tony Soprano in the house?

Gotti?

Gambino?

Can we start with a wax for the hairball pictured above and use 20 year old scotch tape?

WTF IS GOING ON IN THIS COUNTRY!?!?!?!

FRIDAY THE 13TH..STAY IN BED

7 PEOPLE WHO SHOULD STAY IN BED TODAY

• UNM student athlete (can you keep those two words in context America?) Elizabeth Lambert. Two weeks ago she was just an average 20 year old college kid, playing Division I soccer to get herself through school. Today, thanks to a selective lowlight reel put together by a homer team video crew, an American Media that places more importance on sensationalism than journalistic integrity (I know, an oxymoron in 2009) and a nation (nay, WORLD) of fellow citizens who apparently have never played a competitive team sport, she has replaced Sarah Palin as the most reviled woman on the North American continent. The Pedro Martinez takedown of Don Zimmer did not receive near as much vile commentary from so many ratholes in the media and the overall population. And at least Zimmer had enough class to come out and say that he was partly to blame for Pedro's actions. (and may God now forgive me for mentioning soccer and baseball in the same paragraph).
• The children of Robert and Mayumi Heene. The "balloon boy" parents who just replaced Jon and Kate Gosselin as the dumbest parents in America with their horrific attempt at a stupid nursery school prank.
• Anyone who has bothered to read (which means no one who votes in Congress) Nancy Pelosi's ONE THOUSAND NINE HUNDRED AND NINETY PAGE Health Care Reform Act. Clearly, Ms. Pelosi has never had a KISS and never learned how to Keep It Simple Stupid. After 239 years, the Constitution is still only 17 pages long.
• The Public Relations Director at the University of New Mexico. Who in the last 90 days has had to engage in yeoman's work in defending the school after a brand new football coach was accused of sexual harassment by an athletic office employee during his first week on the job, then had to find rose colored glasses after ESPN's (Inside The Lines) coverage of the same coach punching an assistant coach, followed up by a subsequent firestorm directed against the school's President for attempting to coverup the story, and most recently the nasty little Youtube video about the aforementioned Ms. Lambert. So much for "Land of Enchantment", eh Mr. PR Director?
• The couple in Phoenix, Arizona who's house was placed in foreclosure and sold by Chase, even though they were current on their mortgage. I'd stay in bed today if I were them, just be aware that they may have company.
• Every resident of Philadelphia. Not only was their baseball team WAXED by the New York Yankees, but the residents just earned Travel and Leisure Magazine's bottom ranking for "Least Attractive People" for the 3rd year in a row. Chase Utley's hairdo notwithstanding. (But something tells me the Brotherly Lovers relish the designation).
• The residents of Budaors, Hungary. Who's entire police force (15 officers) walked off their jobs the minute they won a 16 million dollar lottery. Oh, to own a donut shop in Budaors.

And finally, here's a shoutout to someone whom I was happy to see didn't stay in bed this morning.

The layout editor for the local newspaper in the 505.

While perusing the morning rag (locally known as the Albuquerque Urinal), I came across a rare article indeed. The much maligned New Mexico Education system was cited as "above average" in a report issued by the U.S. Chamber of Commerce (and in case you miss the irony-or the favor- in that, our Governor Bill Richardson was SUPPOSED to be in charge of that same USCoC for Obama, until Bill ran into a little "corruption and graft" issue here in the 505).

But the real beauty of that story? Right beneath the article was another story which followed up the plight of a local High School baseball coach and teacher. Who was fired a few months ago for purchasing strippers for some of his student athletes while on a road trip.

"Above Average Education"....fersure.

THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD...

On this Veterans Day in 2009, we are all turning our attention, rightfully so, to the millions of men and women who have answered the call to duty (past and present) in defense of our nation. But the respect and honor that we give to these brave people should not stop with them. Oftentimes, the greater burden of military service is placed on the shoulders of those left behind..their families.

Say hello to "Ken". Ken works the midnight shift at the 7/11 not far from my house in the 505. I visit Ken once or twice a week, late at night, to purchase a pack of what will be my eventual downfall of life experience on this earth.

Ken is in his mid-60's, honest, hardworking, and is no doubt building up an incredibly worthless retirement fund thanks to his employment at 7/11.
But he loves his job. And who can't admire anyone for that?


Ken wears the same baseball cap to work every night. It's one of those Navy baseball caps that you see around port cities like San Diego, Newport News, Honolulu, Manila, ..etc... caps that have the name and the image and ID number of a ship on it.

Ken's cap says "USS INDIANAPOLIS".


I know a little about U.S. Military History.

So one late night, when the cops weren't around collecting their free donuts drying out underneath the heat lamp, in between busting joyriding teenagers and setting up their DWI checkpoints, I asked Ken what he knew about the U.S.S. Indianapolis.


"A lot", he said. "My Father served on the Indianapolis".


I asked...."Really? Odd, you appear to be too old to have had a father serve on it" (nice one 505.....try something novel next time and THINK before you open your mouth).

Being too nice a guy to give me a dirty look after my faux pas, he smiled and replied that his mother was pregnant with him when the ship was struck by Japanese torpedos after delivering the atomic bomb for a test drop on Hiroshima.

For those of you who don't know the story about the Indianapolis, it took 4 days after the sinking of the Indianapolis for the U.S. Navy to figure out that they had a cruiser missing. In the meantime about 900 initial survivors (out of a crew of 1100) of the ship fought dehydration and sharks while floating around freely in the ocean, with nothing but life preservers. The sharks were the bigger of the battle....and the sharks won more often than not. When rescuers arrived on the scene, roughly 300 of the original crew had survived.

So I asked Ken....

"Did your dad make it home?"


Ken replied...

"He's still at sea"


Bucking up and trying to remain stoic, I hugged him and blessed him for keeping the faith alive in the middle of the desert with that small tribute that he wears EVERY night during his shift at 7/11.

Now each time I visit Ken, I have now a good reason to reflect about my dad. The U.S. Marine who was fortunate enough to come home from the Pacific. Dad was lucky....really, really lucky. He got pulled out of a graduation day exercise on Parris Island after some Colonel recognized him as the 505 Senior who played baseball in the Yankee organization prior to enlistment. And he asked my dad if he'd be interested in playing on the Marine Corps intra-service team..alongside Major League players like Ted Williams (briefly) and Jerry Coleman. So when my dad's company shipped off to the Pacific, dad got off the ship in Hawaii while the rest of his boot camp buddies headed west, thinking that they were gonna be involved in quartermaster duties for 3-4 months. Except that they were really headed for Tarawa, and my dad's company was part of the first wave of invaders. And out of his boot camp platoon of 20 or so Marines, 3 survived the landing, and one of them committed suicide a year later.

So thanks to meeting Ken, I got to thinking what life would have been like for my brother, who was born in 1944, if my dad didn't come home. (Never mind my younger sister and I, who knows if our specific eggs would have ever been fertilized).
Would my brother have turned out to be the ambitious white collar entrepreneur if may father had not come home? Or would he have been content and happy enough to wear a "Battle of Tarawa" T-Shirt to his shift as a cab driver in NYC every night?

And I'm not saying that's there's anything wrong with being a cab driver or a midnight shift clerk at a local 7/11. I am a firm believer that life is too short to worry about inane details like your standing in the economic caste system of life. It's more important to be happy, whatever you do.

But I think it's important to remember on this Veteran's Day that it's not just the actual people who served our nation that we need to honor, but also those who were left behind...especially those who carried on without a father, a mother, an uncle, a grandfather etc.

Because their sacrifices and losses and the memories they carry are no less honorable.

I think I'll need a pack of ciggies tonight.

And I'm gonna pickup a flower or something to give to Ken.

SPEAKING OF EMMETT ASHFORD

Yesterday, I made a reference to Emmett Ashford, a former Major League Umpire (American League), who was the first Black Man to umpire in Professional Baseball, indeed the first Black American to umpire in the Major Leagues .

And while Jackie Robinson has been properly honored for breaking down the color barrier in Major League Baseball in 1947, (nudging out Larry Doby who joined the Cleveland Indians of the American League 11 weeks after Robinson's debut) I started wondering where the honors are for Emmett Ashford? The man who broke down an equally Berlin Wall type of racial inequality by becoming the first Black Umpire in the Major Leagues nearly 20 years after Robinson and Doby made a major league lineup. Which didn't happen for Ashford until 1966, after breaking into the minors in 1952. (How long does it take to develop a strike zone?)

And never mind why it took Emmett nearly 14 years after his minor league debut to garner a spot in the bigs as an umpire. I am certain that someone could get a PH.D filling in the blanks on that 1950's Americana and Baseball Social Commentary.

But how come there are no monuments or statues of Emmett Ashford? Why isn't he in some kind of Hall of Fame? Cuz he was "just an umpire"? who only worked in the Majors for 5 years? (bullshit, I say)

I remember watching Emmett Ashford when I was just a spongy pubescent kid in the late 60's. He was great. Let me say that again, he was great. Not because he was a good umpire or the first black man umpiring in the Major Leagues, ( I had my fill of racism every night on the evening news with riots and water hoses and snarling German Shepherds) but Emmett Ashford was a throughly entertaining umpire to watch. He put flair and pizzazz into the otherwise Black and White performance of Major League Umpiring. You could say he singlehandedly put a rainbow of color into my B+W television set every time he appeared during a Yankee game on WPIX Channel 11. Indeed, we kids often imitated him in the schoolyards as much as we imitated The Mick, or Say Hey or even The Scooter or "Huh-Ho" Bob Murphy on the airwaves.

In a nutshell (my favorite place to be)....watching Emmett Ashford call balls and strikes or work the bases during a game was like watching Joe Cocker warmup for a Mixed Martial Arts demonstration.

I wonder if Emmett ever knew how much of an icon he was to kids of all races and colors in the 60's?

Emmett Ashford may not have been the best, nor even nearly the best umpire in the Major Leagues during his 5 year stint, (he HAD to retire in 1970, having exceeded that maximum age of 56 for umpiring) but there is no doubt that he was the most fun to watch.

But that's not why Emmett Ashford should be in some kind of Hall of Fame. And I agree that it shouldn't be.

40+ years later I look back and wonder what kind of life he lived chasing the dream of getting from the minors to the majors. Jackie Robinson and Larry Doby and a battalion of Black Baseball Players had it rough, sure, no argument. But at least they ALWAYS had at least one or two or more people rooting for them in the stands and on the streets.

Who roots for an umpire? Everybody HATES the umpire, (KILL the Umpire?) regardless of their color, but moreso I imagine, if you were Emmett Ashford working in small town white America in the 50's.

Every umpire has probably feared for his safety on more than one occasion. But I gotta wonder if Emmett Ashford had to do that on a daily basis.

And for that reason alone, Emmett deserves some kind of Lifetime Achievement Honor.

And that's just my opinion.

27 YEARS THAT SHOOK THE WORLD

• 1923-Yankees win Championship. Ireland joins the League of Nations after The Moderation League of New York becomes part of the movement for the Repeal of Prohibition in the United States.


• 1927- Yankees win Championship. The Holland Tunnel opens to traffic as the first Hudson vehicular Tunnel linking New Jersey to New York City. The Soprano Trucking and Garbage Pickup business expands to Northern New Jersey.


• 1928- Yankees win Championship. Mickey Mouse appears in Steamboat Willie, the first sound film from Walt Disney. Great Grandma Ima "BigMouth" Rollins provides the voiceover for Mickey, promising to do at least 5 more films....6 if she's nice.


• 1932- Yankees win Championship. Tata Airlines (later to become Air India) makes its first flight. Tata opens the first call center in Delhi, employing 4,000 locals, all have the same first name of Patel.


• 1936- Yankees win Championship. Construction of the Hoover Dam is completed. FDR supporters, reeling from 4 years of Economic Depression and led by radio show host Keith Olberman Sr. fail in their attempt to name the structure "Dam Hoover".


• 1937- Yankees win Championship. Ernest Hemingway's novel "To Have and Have Not" is first published. 72 years later it becomes a best seller on the winter reading list for all Philadelphians.


• 1938- Yankees win Championship. Krispy Kreme opens it's first store. A woman by the name of Cecilia Sabathia is the first customer.


• 1939- Yankees win Championship. Sit-down strikes are outlawed by the Supreme Court. Ryan Howard's grandfather stands and applauds, as he was growing weary of sitting down so often after strikes.


• 1941- Yankees win Championship. The breakfast cereal Cheerios is introduced by General Mills. In a attempt to usurp breakfast leader Wheaties, a sonogram of the unfertilized egg that would become Derek Jeter is featured on the first box cover.


• 1943- Yankees win Championship. The alleged Philadelphia Experiment, in which a U.S. destroyer escort was to be rendered invisible to human observers was conducted in what was to later become the current location of the Phillies bullpen in Citizens Bank Park.


• 1947- Yankees win Championship. In NYC, Edwin Land demonstrates the first "instant camera". Major League Baseball Umpires stage a sitdown strike in protest. The strike fails when black and white video replays determine that the umpires sat down out of position.


• 1949- Yankees win Championship. Los Angeles receives its first recorded snowfall. Area hospitals are overwhelmed with nasal and sinus inflammations brought on by "severe inhalation".


• 1950- Yankees win Championship. Senator Estes Kefauver introduces a resolution calling for an investigation of organized crime in the United States. Major League Baseball owners memorize the Reserve Clause, while shredding all written documentation.


• 1951- Yankees win Championship. Nuclear testing at the Nevada Test Site begins with a 1-kiloton bomb dropped on Frenchman Flat, northwest of Las Vegas. In Paris, the government surrenders to Frank Sinatra's Rat Pack.


• 1952- Yankees win Championship. Emmitt Ashford becomes the first black umpire in organized baseball. His first call at 1st base....is wrong.


• 1953- Yankees win Championship. The Crucible, a drama by Arthur Miller, opens on Broadway. Casey Stengel, Ralph Houk, Billy Martin, Bob Lemon and Yogi Berra tryout for the lead role.


• 1956- Yankees win Championship. Fidel Castro and his followers land in Cuba in the boat "Granma". Granma returns to Florida with 16 pitchers, 12 shortstops and 27 outfielders


• 1958- Yankees win Championship. The first International House of Pancakes opens in Toluca Lake, Calif. A woman by the name of Cecilia Sabathia is the first customer.


• 1961- Yankees win Championship. President Kennedy announces plans to place a man on the moon by the end of the decade. Nick Swisher's dad, Steve, volunteers to be the first.


• 1962- Yankees win Championship. A 114 day newspaper strike begins in New York City. Mets and Yankees rejoice.


• 1977- Yankees win Championship. Fleetwood Mac releases the album "Rumors". Two year old Alex Rodriguez breaks out in hives when his parents play the album


• 1978- Yankees win Championship. Pete Rose gets his 3,000th hit. Sports Books in Las Vegas declare a one day commemorative holiday.


• 1996- Yankees win Championship. In Philadelphia, a panel of federal judges blocks a law against indecency on the internet. Shane Victorino's video "How to Bunt a Baseball" is the first new release on youtube.


• 1998- Yankees win Championship. Osama Bin Laden publishes a fatwa, declaring jihad against all Jews and Crusaders. Bill Clinton orders more cigars, Al Gore googles fatwa and jihad, and Yeshiva and Holy Cross Universities go into a 30 day lockdown.


• 1999- Yankees win Championship. Pluto moves along its eccentric orbit further from the Sun than Neptune. Cole Hamels develops two new pitches.


• 2000- Yankees win Championship. Met Fans......oh, why bother.


• 2009- Yankees win Championship. Barack Obama creates new cabinet position. Names Ozzie Guillen "Czar of Baseball".

DON DRYSDALE AND BOB GIBSON

PLEASE REPORT TO THE YANKEE PITCHING STAFF

Somebody on the Yankee pitching staff has got to knock Chase Utley on his ass. Or do what the Phillies have done to A-Rod three times so far.... and plant one in his ribs.

Cuz Chase Utley is well on his way to singlehandedly (with some help from Cliff Lee) leading the Phillies to a second consecutive World Series Championship.

I don't want to hear any nonsense about "that's not the Yankee Style" or the "Yankees have too much class for that kind of baseball.

BULLSHIT!!!

Style points and class only win in Olympic Figure Skating.

Enough of Chase Utley....drill him and take your chances on Ryan "Special K" Howard.

Just my opinion.