FRIDAY THE 13TH..STAY IN BED

7 PEOPLE WHO SHOULD STAY IN BED TODAY

• UNM student athlete (can you keep those two words in context America?) Elizabeth Lambert. Two weeks ago she was just an average 20 year old college kid, playing Division I soccer to get herself through school. Today, thanks to a selective lowlight reel put together by a homer team video crew, an American Media that places more importance on sensationalism than journalistic integrity (I know, an oxymoron in 2009) and a nation (nay, WORLD) of fellow citizens who apparently have never played a competitive team sport, she has replaced Sarah Palin as the most reviled woman on the North American continent. The Pedro Martinez takedown of Don Zimmer did not receive near as much vile commentary from so many ratholes in the media and the overall population. And at least Zimmer had enough class to come out and say that he was partly to blame for Pedro's actions. (and may God now forgive me for mentioning soccer and baseball in the same paragraph).
• The children of Robert and Mayumi Heene. The "balloon boy" parents who just replaced Jon and Kate Gosselin as the dumbest parents in America with their horrific attempt at a stupid nursery school prank.
• Anyone who has bothered to read (which means no one who votes in Congress) Nancy Pelosi's ONE THOUSAND NINE HUNDRED AND NINETY PAGE Health Care Reform Act. Clearly, Ms. Pelosi has never had a KISS and never learned how to Keep It Simple Stupid. After 239 years, the Constitution is still only 17 pages long.
• The Public Relations Director at the University of New Mexico. Who in the last 90 days has had to engage in yeoman's work in defending the school after a brand new football coach was accused of sexual harassment by an athletic office employee during his first week on the job, then had to find rose colored glasses after ESPN's (Inside The Lines) coverage of the same coach punching an assistant coach, followed up by a subsequent firestorm directed against the school's President for attempting to coverup the story, and most recently the nasty little Youtube video about the aforementioned Ms. Lambert. So much for "Land of Enchantment", eh Mr. PR Director?
• The couple in Phoenix, Arizona who's house was placed in foreclosure and sold by Chase, even though they were current on their mortgage. I'd stay in bed today if I were them, just be aware that they may have company.
• Every resident of Philadelphia. Not only was their baseball team WAXED by the New York Yankees, but the residents just earned Travel and Leisure Magazine's bottom ranking for "Least Attractive People" for the 3rd year in a row. Chase Utley's hairdo notwithstanding. (But something tells me the Brotherly Lovers relish the designation).
• The residents of Budaors, Hungary. Who's entire police force (15 officers) walked off their jobs the minute they won a 16 million dollar lottery. Oh, to own a donut shop in Budaors.

And finally, here's a shoutout to someone whom I was happy to see didn't stay in bed this morning.

The layout editor for the local newspaper in the 505.

While perusing the morning rag (locally known as the Albuquerque Urinal), I came across a rare article indeed. The much maligned New Mexico Education system was cited as "above average" in a report issued by the U.S. Chamber of Commerce (and in case you miss the irony-or the favor- in that, our Governor Bill Richardson was SUPPOSED to be in charge of that same USCoC for Obama, until Bill ran into a little "corruption and graft" issue here in the 505).

But the real beauty of that story? Right beneath the article was another story which followed up the plight of a local High School baseball coach and teacher. Who was fired a few months ago for purchasing strippers for some of his student athletes while on a road trip.

"Above Average Education"....fersure.