TOP 10 MEANINGLESS EXECUTIVE ORDERS OF ALL TIME

10/January 1, 2010. Governor Tim Pawlenty of Minnesota issues an executive order mandating that Brett Favre will enter the NFL Hall of Fame as a Viking.

9/One day after his inauguration in 1993, under pressure from his wife, President Bill Clinton issues an executive order barring cigar toting interns from the Oval Office for the duration of his Presidency.

8/April 1, 1865. Abraham Lincoln issues an executive order closing down Ford's Theater effective April 15th.

7/June 6, 1972. Richard Nixon signs an executive order protecting the Plumbers Union from any type of litigation in Washington D.C.

6/November 27, 1963. Lyndon Johnson writes an executive order giving the Warren Commission full authority and power to get to the bottom of the Kennedy Assasination.

5/May 1, 2003. George W. Bush handwrites an executive order on the back of a Budweiser label that the War in Iraq akomplished.

4/December 7, 1941, 12:55PM EDT. Franklin Delano Roosevelt issues an executive order to the Pacific Military commanders that reads "Japs are nucking futz, prepare for attack".

3/March 30,1981. Secretary of State Alexander Haig, upon hearing that President Reagan was shot, immediately issues an executive order declaring "I am in charge".

2/January 11, 1994. While riding in the back of his 3MPG limousine to a Save The Oil For Someone Else Rally in California, VP Al Gore signs an executive order declaring the Information Superhighway created.

1/March 21, 2010. Barack Obama signs an executive order declaring that no federal funds will be used for abortions.

AP HEADLINE-RUSSIA ELIMINATES 2 TIME ZONES

All generalizations are false, including this one.

Despite the best efforts of The One and his proletariat lackeys from the former Soviet Socialist Republic, Two Time Zones Away is still up and running and will continue to take up the cause of righteousness (mostly libertarianism).

In the words of Sir Winston Churchill "We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender...."

We didn't have many readers in Russia anyway.

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

I READ 30 PAGES OF THE HEALTH CARE BILL!!!!

MY SUCCINCT SUMMARY
(much more succinct than this Obamanation)

A PIPE DREAM nightmare collaboration of the greatest hits from Jonathan Swift and Joseph Heller on acid (Gullivers Travels + Catch-22); created by a bunch of pot smoking, mushroom chewing college sit-ins from the 60's who drifted from their VW Vans to working on the McGovern Campaign, to interning for a Congressman, to elected office and NEVER imagined, created or managed a business in their lives.

Just my opinion.

And if God is listening, forget the "Bless" America stuff, we need some Saving.

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!!

Unless your name is JOHN EDWARDS or GARY HART, we all start out in life wanting to GROW UP to be President. Very few of us achieve that lofty goal.  Only 43 men (sorry ladies, but your day is coming) have ever done it, mostly due to the fact that along life's journey our focus on the Presidency is diverted by other factors such as money, necessity, family, or just other jobs that come along and grab our fancy.

My first diversion came about at the age of 4 or 5 when I became so fascinated by the garbage truck that ventured down our street 3X a week that I would dash outside in my footie PJ's and mesmerize myself watching the guys riding on the back of  it. (And then it was back inside to watch Spanky and Alfalfa chasing Darla on the Tube of Life, fantasizing the dream of being a Little Rascal).

I wanted to grow up and ride on the back of a garbage truck like the garbagemen did. I dreamed about jumping off the truck and beating the hell out of galvanized steel garbage cans, (with lids that only fit snuggly on top of the can for about a week after purchase), before jumping back on the rear of the truck like The Lone Ranger jumped on Silver, as it was rolling on to my neighbor's house.

Since then, I've always had an affinity for other semi-glamorous jobs; temporary occupations that captured  some odd fantasy, a peer driven status need to be fulfilled, or positions that simply satisfied some kind of "hey, that sounds like fun" desire. Odd jobs that included, but not limited to, a Newsday paperboy, a caddy at Bethpage State Park (my very 1st loop was The Black), a beanie topped/smock accessorized vendor at Madison Square Garden, or a messenger riding and learning the mass transit system of Midtown Manhattan.

So when my internet surfing came across a casting call for extras for the pilot of a TV show (The Odds) being filmed in the 505 last weekend, I said....what da hey! Who knows? Maybe I'll run into Darla. I followed the instructions and e-mailed a brief physical description and 3 head shots of myself.

(Plus this one....with a written challenge to the recipient of the e-mail to guess which picture wasn't me):

Lo and Behold, the next morning, I received a return e-mail telling me that I had been "selected" to be a "College Professor" for a day, with instructions on what to wear and to prepare for an 8-12 hour day on Sunday. At $9.50/hr plus overtime.....what the hell said I, I'm in.. if nothing else this would provide me with another unique snapshot of the American Experience.

And I wasn't disappointed.

I arrived promptly at 8am at the UNM Student Union, even received a phone call from the casting rep while I was about a mile away, to make sure that I was really coming. When I arrived I quickly discerned why I received the call. There were about 120 people in the assembly hall (the cafeteria) and 110 of them were college students, while the rest were women approaching my age. There were NO other men anywhere near my age. My first reaction was to question my sexuality at being the only male over the age of 21 in this throng.....but then I said to myself...."Self? there are lots of young women dressed in bikinis in here on this 29 degree morning, why the hell would you question your sexuality at this point in life?" 

After quickly righting my ship, I filled out all the required paperwork and sat at a table with some women that were close to my generation and began exchanging pleasantries. There was already some filming going on outside the cafeteria, filming that had begun at 6AM that this lone oldest male wasn't needed  for.

Fine by me....it's cold outside, the college kids who were standing around out there in required summer attire of shorts and t-shirts for numerous re-takes were turning all kinds of technicolor blue. I thought to myself that at $9.50/hr they better pray that Obamacare gets passed before noon this day.

So after visiting the stocked buffet table for some donuts and juice, I struck up a conversation with 2 women at my table. They were veterans of the "extra" industry that has blossomed in the 505 in recent years. One thing I will say about Governor Bill Richardson (the only GOOD thing) is that he has turned the 505 into a mini-Hollywood in recent years with all kinds of incentives for the film/TV industry to shoot here. Recent movies like Road Hogs and No Country For Old Men were done here, (True Grit is in production), and current cable series like In Plain Sight and Breaking Bad are shot here. There's plenty of work...and I got the impression from the two women I was speaking with, that for many people....being an "extra" is almost a full time profession. Indeed, after I informed them of my extra virginity, I was subjected to a veritable rolling screen of their own movie credits and actors they have met as each of them tried to one up the other with their film and TV accomplishments. "Lord Save Me", I quietly uttered on this Sabbath Day.

But the highlight of this brief conversation with Robin and Dawn was the disclosure that the real (reel?) highlights of this job for them was, get this, Dawn was there "for the food" (all meals and beverages are provided by the studios) and the food was much better for movie productions than TV shows, and Robin, who has a union card ya' know, and "was hoping to meet a single man with a full time job". After she showed me a picture of her 15 year old son with hair down below his ass, who had already called her 3X this morning complaining about being ill, ("Tell him to open a can of chicken soup" said I, "You mean VEGAN Soup" said Mom).....I quickly advised Robin that I was neither.

CUT!!!!

End of Part 1....Enjoy the interlude, go smoke a cigarette or buy some popcorn in the lobby.

Come back tomorrow for Part 2.

   

   

  

ON THIS DATE IN HISTORY.....

Das Andere Deutschland's final issue (German Newspaper in 1933), announcing its own prohibition (Verbot) by the police authorities on the basis of the Reichstag Fire Decree.

When the final tally was announced on Sunday night, I fully expected Nancy Pelosi to send one of her whimpering cervically dysplagic lap dogs (Kucinich? Stupak?) running up to the White House with a copy of the Health Care Bill for Obama to immediately sign. Indeed, I was somewhat shocked when it was announced that Obama was going to wait until today, Tuesday March 23, 2010, before signing it.

Which got me to thinking........(as stated previously in other blog entries...always a dangerous concept).

Why would Obama wait two days to sign this historic and legacy making Health Care Bill?
Like my nanny would always state, (long before the combination of the words "nanny" and "state" took on radically different meanings),  "What if the world came to an end yesterday?"

How would The One get past St. Peter and gain admittance to the Progressive HOF (Heaven of Fame) where he could join his buddies FDR and LBJ? (LBJ is actually getting quite toasty right now, but that's the subject of another blog topic, I am including him in Heaven now strictly out of a poetic license that has not yet been taxed or regulated out of existence).

What's so special about March 23 that gave Obama reason to wait and sign the bill today? Possibly to honor someone or some event?

Good question? Correct?

So, I unleashed the investigative staff at Two Time Zones Away to do a little research.
Was it some significant historical figure's birthday? Nope, no big or applicable names there.
Perhaps Karl Marx was circumsized on March 23?  Possible but probably not, cuz Marx was born a Jew and didn't become a Gentile (no relation to Jim) until age 6.
Is March 23rd the earliest date that Ted Kennedy arose from a St. Patrick's Day bender? Nope. That date is March 28th or 29th, depending on whether you count the time zone he woke up in or the time zone he started drinking in.

So we checked the Significant Events Folder.

BINGO!!!

We have two options for Obama to reference in his Victory Speech Round Deux by way of historical connection.

First of all, it was on March 23, 1806, after 2 years of slogging through the Louisiana Territory, (not a whole lot longer than it took Obama to jam this Health Care Plan down our throats), famed explorers Lewis and Clark and their "Corps of Discovery", began their return trip home from Oregon with tales and riches of the Louisiana Purchase.

Which is certainly significant because now on the same March 23, 204 years later.... Mary Landrieu, the "Whore He Discovered" can begin her return trip back to Louisiana with a keelboat loaded with riches from the latest Purchase of the same name.

Secondly, we came across this little ironic similarity,

On this date in 1933, The German Reichstag (Congress) passed the Enabling Act of 1933, making Adolf Hitler dictator of Germany. This was after Hitler's Cronies had tried to burn down the same Reichstag a month previous, but like Rahm Emanuel professes and practices so well, ("A Crisis is A Terrible Thing To Waste"), Hitler seized the opportunity presented by the Reichstag Fire to centralize more power within the National Socialist Central Government, took control of various industries and eliminated numerous freedoms. Not the least of which included taking over or closing every newpaper in the country.

Which is certainly significant because now on this same March 23, 76 years later...Obama and Emanuel have just extinguished, indeed took full advantage of,  the firestorm that was scorching their administration after the election of Scott Brown. And they did it by trampling over the Constitution and breaching every possible Rule of Order and Procedure in Congress. And let's not overlook the powerful and Enabling Actions of Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid from our own Reichstag, that led to this powerful and impressive victory.
All the while a fawning media and press (save one major outlet) pretty much closed both eyes to this 21st Century power grab by the new forces of National Socialism. (Sorry progressives, but it's now official....Obama is a Socialist...The Reverend Al Sharpton anointed him Sunday....right here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7JNbauwGPY
All of this, after nationalizing the automobile industry, the banking industry and now the Health Insurance Industry, indeed the entire Health Care industry.
And for the first time in American History....our National(ist?) Government is MANDATING, under penalty of a fine or jail, that we MUST purchase a consumer product.

All I can say is....brilliant acknowledgement of March 23 and it's significance in history Mr. Obama. I tip my hat to you for recognizing the appropriateness of signing the Health Care Act today.

But rather than leave everyone with a lousy taste in their mouths about the date of March 23rd. I'll leave you with another special event that happened on this date as well; and it's kinda different.
Because it was on this date in 1775, that Patrick Henry delivered his famous speech – "Give me Liberty, or give me Death!" – at St. John's Church in Richmond, Virginia.

Imagine that......secular words of wisdom delivered in a Church... how politically incorrect in 2010.
And can anyone imagine Jeremiah Wright saying something comparable?
Or would it be more like......."Give My State More Unfunded Federal Mandates!! Or Give Me More Community Organizers.....But Give me Something God Dammit!!"

THIS WAS OUR DARKEST HOUR

Mr. Vice President, Mr. Speaker, Members of the Senate, and of the House of Representatives:

Yesterday, March 21st, 1941 -- a date which will live in infamy -- the Constitution of The United States of America was rapaciously and deliberately ravaged by progressive and socialist forces of the Empire of Marxism.

The Constitution was under attack from that philosophy, but even with the election of Barack Obama, was still in conversation with its proponents and its emperor looking toward the maintenance of individual liberties and freedoms within this Country.


Indeed, five days before socialist candidates had been elected in the American 2008 election, the Presidential  candidate of the Progressive Party and his comrades delivered to our Nation's Youtube Network an informal Declaration of War on the 232 year old American Experiment:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvJJP9AYgqU

While this declaration appeared to be a statement of hope and change, it contained no threat or hint of war or how audacious and encompassing the attack would be.


It will be recorded that the distance between Teddy Roosevelt's initial foray into Progressivism to Barack Obama's HealthCare Bill makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many decades or even a century ago. During the intervening time, numerous Republican and Democratic Progressive Administrations have deliberately sought to deceive the United States Citizenry by false statements and expressions of hope for continued freedom and independence from government oppression.


The attack yesterday on the Constitution has caused severe damage to American economic and personal freedoms. I regret to tell you that very many American lives have been already been destroyed by progressive initiatives. In addition, American freedoms have been reported threatened with the planned hiring of 3 battalions of up to 15,000 IRS storm troopers between Maine and Hawaii.

Yesterday, the Progressives also launched an attack supporting Amnesty for Immigration Laws.

Earlier this year, Progressive forces initiated an economically debilitating Cap and Trade program.

In 1973, the Progressives embarked on a policy of prenatalcide by successfully presenting the case that a woman has the right to choose when it comes to the health of her own body (resulting in 39 MILLION aborted children...i.e DEAD BABIES, through the year 2000), yet in what can only be considered as one of the top 2 hypocrisies of all time, they have just mandated to over 300 million Americans, that there is no choice when it comes to buying health insurance for you own bodies. Do it or go to jail.

Last year, the Progressives bailed out and conquered the automotive industry.

Last year, the Progressives bailed out and conquered the banking industry.

And in this past State of The Union Address, the Progressives began attacking The Supreme Court.


Progressivism has, therefore, undertaken a complete offensive extending throughout the American System. The facts of yesterday and today speak for themselves. The people of the United States have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very life and safety of our nation.

As blogger in chief from two time zones away, I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense. But always will our whole nation remember the character of the onslaught against us.


No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.

I believe that I interpret the will of the Constitutionalists and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost, but will make it very certain that this form of treachery shall never again endanger us.

Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory, and our interests are in grave danger.

With confidence in our unarmed forces, with the unbounding determination of our people, we will gain the inevitable triumph -- so help us God.

I ask that the American People declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Progressivism on Sunday, March 21st, 2010, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Marxist Progressives.

TOP 9 IRISH BASEBALL PLAYERS OF ALL TIME

9/Willie McCovey--San Francisco Giant first baseman from the 60's

8/Bob O'jeda-NY Mets reliever from the 80's.

7/Queenie O'Rourke- Makes the list because Queenie was the name of my 1st dog as a kid. The Luis Sojo of the 1908 Yankees. 

6/Shawn Green- What's more Irish on St. Patrick's Day than that name?

5/Buck O'Neill- Arguably the greatest baseball player ever who never played in the Major Leagues.

4/Wee Willie Keeler-No Irish Baseball lineup is complete without a leprechaun

3/Nolan Ryan-Earns a position based on the Double Shot of Irishness in his name. Not a bad pitcher either. 

2/Mickey Mantle- It's St. Patrick's Day, He is THE Greatest Mick of All Time.

1/This guy---The Finest Mahon I've ever known...and one helluva dad...

http://www.baseball-reference.com/minors/player.cgi?id=mahon-001tho

1ST ANNUAL 505 BRACKETOLOGY WARNINGS

Why a picture of Jim Valvano you ask?

Simple, we have too much in common. Which gives me the right to feign some expertise on the upcoming NCAA Playoffs. 

How so?

Jimmy V. was raised in Seaford, Long Island. I was raised 1 zip code away in North Massapequa, Long Island.

Jimmy V. learned his basketball in the schoolyards and parks of the South Shore of Long Island. I learned my basketball in those same schoolyards and parks.

Jimmy V. was a point guard at Rutgers University in 1967. I was a loudmouthed lout at Manhattan College in 1976 who was thrown out of the Rutgers gymnasium for questioning Rutgers All-American Phil Seller's lineage while my beloved Jaspers were trying to prematurely end Rutgers 31 game winning streak. (They failed).

Jimmy V's greatest claim to fame was winning the NCAA Tournament in Albuquerque in 1983. My greatest claim to fame was winning a Blackjack Tournament in Albuquerque in 2007.

With that out of the way......TAKE THE FOLLOWING TO THE BANK BRACKETOLOGISTS.

1/There are 4 Mountain West Conference teams in the Dance. I contend that these 4 teams as an aggregate are as good as the top 4 teams from ANY other conference in America. At least 3 will advance out of the 1st round. And there is a decent chance that all 4 will advance.

2/New Mexico will have no problem with Montana. I have picked the Lobos (somewhat heartily, as in my heart, not my head) as a Final 4 squad. The only thing holding this team back is what I call "The Manana Syndrome" that plagues statewide athletics here. A universal syndrome (i.e. all levels of athletic competition-pro-college-high school- little league- amateur etc) that I have witnessed first hand, observed as a spectator, and battled as a participant. It is a unique psychology that GRIPS competitors of all sports in this state whereby participants go into important games with the attitude that it's okay to wait for the other team to lose the game. Known in other parts of the country as CHOKING. But for the 1st time since I arrived here in 1986, I think Lobo coach Steve Alford has this attitude under control.

2/BYU, as their religious beliefs demand, is on a Mission. They have been underseeded. They should have been a 5 or 6 seed. They have not won an NCAA game in 7 consecutive appearances. They fear losing more in Provo more than they fear Catholicism and Judaism. They will defeat Florida. They will advance to the Elite 8. I picked Pittsburgh to defeat them at that point, but I consider that game a tossup. BEWARE OF BYU in this tournament.

3/San Diego State could very well be the surprise and Cinderella team of the whole show. The most athletic and strongest board team in the MWC, they will go as far as their top 5 in the country freshman, Kawhi Leonard, takes them. He is a STUD. The Aztecs defeated the Number 8 ranked Lobos twice this year, but in reality, they beat the Lobos 3 times....except for some very gracious "home" calls at the end of the game in Albuquerque. The SDSU/Tennessee game may be the most fun game to watch in the entire 1st round of the tournament, as it will be played above the rim. SDSU goes to the Sweet 16...yes, I even picked them to defeat Georgetown. One cannot discount the savvy wisdom of former NCAA Champion Coach Steve Fischer at the helm in San Diego.

4/UNLV is my question mark in the 1st round. Not sure they have the offensive weapons to defeat Northern Iowa, but their high pressure front end defense will surely put the NIU guards to the test. (When is the last time anyone used the term "high pressure defense" to describe a UNLV team?). I picked UNLV as a 1st round win, but that's as far as they go with Kansas as their next opponent. 

Again...take these predictions to the bank..

But keep in mind...they're just my opinion....I could be wrong. And even Jimmy V. was perfect only once.

     

JOHN MITCHELL APPOINTS 8 KLAN DEFENSE ATTORNEYS TO CIVIL RIGHTS DIVISION WITHIN THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT

For those of you old enough to remember......jump into Mr. Peabody's Wayback Machine and drift back to 1969. Imagine what would have happened if the headline I posted here appeared on the front page of the New York Times sometime in 1969. A headline reporting that Richard Nixon's Attorney General, John Mitchell had hired and placed 8 former KKK defense attorneys into the Civil Rights Division of the Justice Department.

Outrage? Revulsion? Rioting? Burning down the Cities?

And who could blame the people rightfully offended by an action that is so questionable, so conflicting, so arrogant, so lacking in common sense? It would have been a really dumb thing to do. History has shown us that Nixon and Mitchell were capable of doing some really dumb things........BUT NOTHING THAT DUMB!!  

Now climb back into Mr. Peabody's Wayback Machine and return to 2010.

And checkout this headline, AND IT'S A TRUE STORY!!

 ERIC HOLDER APPOINTS 8 JIHADIST DEFENSE ATTORNEYS TO NATIONAL SECURITY DIVISION WITHIN THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT.

Makes me wonder about the job opportunities and income potential for plumbers in Washington these days.

Just my opinion.

BULLETIN!!!

This just in from the Revised History Files.

Robert Kennedy, JFK's Attorney General in 1961, has just named Tom Hagen, Bumpy Piscatorre, Anita Bellacrocia and 5 other consiglieres to the Justice Department's Organized Crime Unit.

Hey....it's open season for election paybacks, ya' know?

PROGRESSIVE THINKING AT WORK

The Progressives have done it again. In an effort to strike back at the Tea Party, their simple thought processes have come up with what appears, in their simple minds, a clever counter movement to the Tea Partiers, i.e. The Coffee Party Movement.  At first glance, one might think....very good. Tea? Coffee? Kinda the same, both are comfort beverages and sort of go hand in hand. Great concept by the Progressives, right?

WRONG.

Besides the one important question that needs to be asked about the Coffee Party Movement, what the hell took you so long to mobilize?, this brand new political product called The Coffee Party Movement warrants some further review.

Like......what fundamental branding mistake did the progressives make by selecting coffee as the alternative to tea, and creating a comparison of the two beverages, by representing their own movement in the form of coffee?

Well, I just happen to have the answers to that question, in my own snarky, twisted way. And it's not a pretty story for Progressives when SOME THOUGHT is given to "what the hell ARE they thinking" in selecting "coffee" as their brand of party movement?
But then again, why should anyone be surprised by the shallowness of Progressive thinking?

HISTORICAL SIGNIFICANCE
Tea? We all know what the historical significance of the Tea Party is. It's the first image that pops in your head, right?  Boston Harbor, Pre-Revolution, striking out at government oppression. All kinds of goose bumpy, patriotic feel good stuff. The kind of stuff that makes you want to pin a flag on your lapel.

Coffee? Hmmmm, can't think of anything off the top of your head that rivals the patriotic Tea Party image, can you? That's because there isn't anything good.
The history of Coffee and The United States is not spectacular. In fact, it's downright awful.
Do the words and phrases "Yanqui Imperialism, Banana Republics, United Fruit Company Massacre", and over 200 years of collaboration between the U.S. Government and Corporate monoliths in plundering, repressing and subjugating Caribbean, Central and South American countries in what became cozy private oligopolies conger up any images?
It's the kind of stuff that makes you want to go out and burn an American Flag.
Why, oh why, would the Progressives want their movement to be affiliated with THAT branding image?
Think about it.....in a subliminal kind of way.

HEALTH SIGNIFICANCE
Tea? Tea is certainly not an elixir by any means. But it does contain Vitamin B1 (Thiamin), Vitamin B2 (Riboflavin), Vitamin B6, Vitamin C (Ascorbic Acid), Vitamin K, Carotene (precursor of vitamin A), Folic Acid, minerals like Manganese, Potassium, Zinc, Fluorine, and Polyphenols (antioxidants) like flavonoids and catechins which help fight against cancer-causing radicals and heart disease.
Indeed, it is generally considered throughout the health industry that the moderate consumption of Tea is very beneficial to one's overall health.

Coffee? Are you kidding me? Let's start and end with VERY HIGH AMOUNTS OF CAFFEINE. The caffeine content in coffee is 50% more than tea. Coffee also has tannin. The combined effect of caffeine and tannin creates many neuro-genetic disorders. And, according to ayurveda (we research all ends of the earth at Two Time Zones Away), coffee drinking makes the semen very thin, which causes early ejaculation and involuntary night discharge. It decreases reproducing power of both sexes. Coffee drinking badly affects the skin, making it dark and rough (see noted morning after coffee fan Keith Richards).

But listing all the negative effects of even mininal consumption of coffee is like listening to the 20 second disclaimers at the end of 30 second Viagra commercials warning you why you shouldn't take it.
Coffee has been directly linked to gastritis, stomach ulcers, sleep disorder, anxiety, increased cholesterol levels, high blood pressure, still birth, iron deficiency, coronary artery disease and on and on and on. Makes one wonder why you shouldn't consult a physician before drinking coffee, and question why there isn't a Surgeon General's Warning on the side of every can of Sanka. (don't worry progressives. I'm sure you'll figure out a way to get that done some day soon).
So....why would Progressives want to be associated with something so potentially debilitating, yet temporarily invigorating, as coffee?
Think about it.....in a subliminal kind of way.

PSYCHOLOGICAL AND COSMETIC SIGNIFICANCE
Tea? Is generally considered a soothing potion, in fact, Green Tea has been used as an anti-depressant. While tea contains small amounts of caffeine, many people drink tea shortly before going to bed each night due to it's comforting features.
And when was the last time you were overwhelmed by the smell of tea on someone's breath?

Coffee? An addicting stimulant. Provides the consumer with temporary euphoric qualities followed up by severe and dramatic demeanor crashes (see my treatise on the Explosive Growth of Starbucks and the Corresponding Increase of Road Rage in America since 1995). Ever wonder how Rachel Maddow maintains that smirky grin and glazed squinchy eyes for an hour every night? That's coffee in her cup. You should see her after the show.
And c'mon folks, what's as bad or worse than cigarette breath? COFFEE breath.
So....why would Progressives want to be associated with an addictive and debilitating option like coffee?
Think about it....in a subliminal kind of way.

ECONOMIC SIGNIFICANCE
Tea? A decent-tasting 100-count box of tea bags can be had for around $3, and each tea bag makes 1-2 cups of tea. Cost per cup: around 2 cents.

Coffee? A pound of decent coffee costs around $6, and makes 30-40 cups (according to most coffee connoisseurs). Cost per cup: 15 to 20 cents.  (And I won't even bring up the cost of a cup of coffee at Starbucks).
Once again, the Progressives opt for a branding that costs everyone a whole bunch more money.
Think about it....in a subliminal kind of way.

CONCLUSION
Be very very careful with this brand new product (actually an old failed product with fresh packaging) being presented by the Progressives with their Coffee Party Movement.
Sounds good, smells good, tastes good, and makes you feel good.....but only for a little while.

Me? I don't drink either beverage.
I fully endorse joining a "Scotch On The Rocks Party".
Cuz that's branding a movement.

In everything but a subliminal kind of way.