06 October 2009



I am rooting for the Detroit Tigers today. I want them to defeat the Twins and move on to face my beloved Yankees in the ALDS. The Yankees have had success against both the Twins and the Tigers this year, going 7-0 against the Twins, while winning 5 of 6 from Detroit. And in recent years the Twins have been a pushover for the Yankees in the playoffs.

On the surface, most Yankee fans would most likely opt for Minnesota as the Yankees next opponent, given the recent successes the Yanks have had against them. Coupled with the fact that the Tigers have a potential Yankee killer in the name of pitcher Justin Verlander. A guy who could conceivably shut down the Yankee lineup for two games.

But I'd rather take my chances with the Tigers in the ALDS. They are a team very similar to the Yankees...just lacking in depth and overall quality of talent.

I don't want any part of the Twins this postseason....nope....not at all....no way.

I don't care that the Yanks have owned them the last few years. I don't care that Carl Pavano, a worthless overpaid POS when he was with the Yanks, is now pitching for them. I don't care that there is hardly a baseball fan in America that can name more than two players in their starting lineup besides Mauer and Morneau (BTW sports fans....Morneau is OUT for the season).

A potential Twins/Yanks matchup has all the makings of a MAJOR upset, and that scares the hell out of me.

Unscientific of me, isn't it?

The Twins are playing the BEST BASEBALL in America right now. They are a walking baseball thesaurus of cliches, getting "just enough" pitching, incredibly timely hitting, stellar defense and have one of the best field tacticians in the game in Ron Gardenhire. They play "small ball", they bunt, they steal, they hit and run, they have some guys capable of hitting a 3 run homer.

But MOST IMPORTANTLY.......they have that friggen anomaly of a baseball stadium.

The Hankie Dome, The Glad Bag, The Movie Theater, the place where routine popups turn into adventures, an arena where baseballs are the EXACT same color as the ceiling, the Stadium with the most uncomfortable seats and worst sightlines I have ever been a part of in a Major League Stadium. The Stadium that was SUPPOSED to have had it's last baseball game played on Sunday.

An anomaly that won't go away, an aberration that just played host to another pimple (Favre) that won't go away.

I don't want the Yankees playing in the Dome this postseason....too many stupid things can and do happen there. And what Yankee fan doesn't remember the widges in Cleveland?

Please Detroit....please.....put the worst baseball stadium in America out of it's misery tonight. Send it to the great plastic recycling plant in the sky. Let the wind out of that place, PERMANENTLY!!

Baseball needs you Detroit. Time to make a balloon payment on all the bailout money. Eliminate the Hump Sack. Turn that place into my next pair of recycled footwear.

And know that I'll be praying very hard today that Miguel Cabrera doesn't get waylaid in Dinkytown (the northern Mississippi extension of the French Quarter, where locals offer Leinenkugel and Head Cheese in lieu of Hurricanes and Gumbo) on his way to the Baggie.

Cuz we all know he's not gettin' any other kindalaid for awhile.

Just my opinion....


  1. Go Tigers - Since the Big O has forbidden anyone in Detroit making more than 15k to fly, I figure the Tigers will be exhausted after driving their Ford Focus' back and forth to NY. If they do fly (charter no less) and lose, does the govt take over the franchise and fire the GM?

  2. Hasn't Washington already done enough for Detroit this year?

    The financial bailouts weren't bad enough, but then the Redskins had to go and end the Lions 147 game losing streak?

    And just when you thought things were bad in Detroit, now comes the latest piece of horrible news. Their precious Hockey team, a model sports organization for 2 decades now, made the mistake of traveling over to Scandinavia the same week as the O's (Obama's and Oprah) and got pummelled just as badly as our national gods.
    The Red Wings have started the season 0-2 after getting waxed by St. Louis in Sweden.
    While just across the Baltic Sea,Obama, Oprah and Chicago got their Own egos shredded by the IOC.

    I fear for the Tigers today....very much so.

  3. I learned that it's worthless to want to face a certain opponent over another one.

    I just want the game to go 15 innings so our opponent's bullpen is blown out for the first half of the series.