10 REASONS WHY CHICAGO FAILED
10/Oprah wanted the opening ceremonies held in her backyard.
9/ACORN was not allowed to register IOC voting committee members.
8/Naming Richard Daley as Director of 'Event Judge Scheduling" may not have been the best idea.
7/Neither was putting William Ayers in charge of security for the games.
6/Nor was having Jeremiah Wright deliver the opening benediction.
5/Chicago refused to allow the UN International Atomic Energy Agency to inspect those dark green, perfectly shaped gelatinous cubes that locals put on their hot dogs and call relish. (There's enough green dye in one of those "things" to paint a stripe across I-80 from Chicago to NYC on St. Patricks Day)
4/The Italian Delegation stormed out of the meeting after sampling the proposed Official Olympic Food......Chicago Pizza..., calling it "Wonder Bread dipped in Ragu with a sprinkling of Kraft"
3/Opening Ceremonies featuring Bill Murray as Nick the Lounge Lizard, with James Belushi and Denise Richards singing "Take Me Out to The Olympic Games" did not score high with the Voting Committee
2/Hanging framed copies of Obama's "Hope" campaign poster in every dorm room of the Olympic Village did not go over well with Western European and Russian voters on the Committee.
1/Having a cow named Daisy kick over a lantern to light the Olympic Flame did not ignite the excitement of the IOC.